I did that the last three days…kind of. I have smoothies and stuff. I also felt like God was saying it was okay to eat a little before I went to bed last night. I stopped when I thought I heard Him say stop, that was good. I kept thinking I should feel bad about eating, so this morning I was determine to understand more about the heart of fasting. I knew that Jesus fasted 40 days before going into ministry and Paul fasted as well as kept watch through the night regularly and that Jesus says that some things only come out by prayer and fasting. Since there are some things I’m believing God wants to break off of me and others, that one got my attention, but I needed to understand why God seems to always let me get away with what we call Pam fasting.
I found Isaiah 58: 6 – 14. “Is this not the fast that I have chosen: To loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, to let the oppressed go free, and that you break every yoke?…Then you light shall break forth like th morning, your healing shall spring forth speedily, and your righteousness shall go before you…there’s way more – but that’s the idea.
God’s purpose in this fast for me to release people from my judgment and have that mind set that runs deep in me generationally broken. Sorry for judging you in ways I didn’t even know about. When I’m not judging and trying to control, that allows God to be enough, allows me to be free from figuring it all out and making it all work. It breaks every yoke I’ve put on myself and others. It allows me to be “a well watered garden” that “raises fountains for many generations” and to have a “satisfied soul even in drought”. I will no longer “hide from my own flesh”. I look forward to “sharing bread ( the Bread of Life mostly) with those who are hungry.
What has happened the last three days? I have been completely and irreversibly convinced that God’s enough. I feel free to be the innocent, eager child I was born to be and a maternal, but not matriarchal, non-judging mentor, parent, and friend. I’m free and I’m excited for today for the sake of what God has for me today. Tomorrow can worry about itself. I’ll be excited for tomorrow tomorrow after I’ve experienced today. The past? I have one.
