Sin and Love

Okay sceptics, study this out and prove me wrong. God’s not really very worried about how often I say fuck or have a little more to drink than I should, or most other things people get all worked up about. God’s heart is that we live loved. That we experience His love and good gifts (love all of you). That I trust Him through Jesus’ sacrifice to….to nothing…just trust and hope and love. Enjoy every minute of everything…the stretching and growing, the loving and the love making, time with him, and her, and her, and all the others, and all the rest. And then there’s the times when “it’s just You and me here now. Only You and me here now.” Those are still the best times. I love you all. Thanks for loving me. Thanks for being a “good gift from The Father of Lights”.

Wanton

Strong’s concordanence:  ogle, blink c oquettishly.  to become voluptuous against.  Live in pleasure.

Maybe no so much.  Maybe it’s just been more being in want.

Anyway, “I will not be in want.”

“The devil came to take your name away.  The devil came to take it all away.  There’s so much for you.  There’s so much for you.”

At any rate, that’s in the past, it feels in the past, I have great blessing  (along with the business that goes with it) and am living incredibly loved.

Time for the jubilee.

Fasting

I did that the last three days…kind of.  I have smoothies and stuff.  I also felt like God was saying it was okay to eat a little before I went to bed last night.  I stopped when I thought I heard Him say stop, that was good.  I kept thinking I should feel bad about eating, so this morning I was determine to understand more about the heart of fasting.  I knew that Jesus fasted 40 days before going into ministry and Paul fasted as well as kept watch through the night regularly and that Jesus says that some things only come out by prayer and fasting.  Since there are some things I’m believing God wants to break off of me and others, that one got my attention, but I needed to understand why God seems to always let me get away with what we call Pam fasting.

I found Isaiah 58: 6 – 14.  “Is this not the fast that I have chosen:  To loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, to let the oppressed go free, and that you break every yoke?…Then you light shall break forth like th morning, your healing shall spring forth speedily, and your righteousness shall go before you…there’s way more – but that’s the idea.

God’s purpose in this fast for me to release people from my judgment and have that mind set that runs deep in me generationally broken.  Sorry for judging you in ways I didn’t even know about.  When I’m not judging and trying to control, that allows God to be enough, allows me to be free from figuring it all out and making it all work.  It breaks every yoke I’ve put on myself and others.  It allows me to be “a well watered garden” that “raises fountains for many generations” and to have a “satisfied soul even in drought”.  I will no longer “hide from my own flesh”. I look forward to “sharing bread ( the Bread of Life mostly) with those who are hungry.

What has happened the last three days?  I have been completely and irreversibly convinced that God’s enough.  I feel free to be the innocent, eager child I was born to be and a maternal, but not matriarchal, non-judging mentor, parent, and friend.  I’m free and I’m excited for today for the sake of what God has for me today.  Tomorrow can worry about itself.  I’ll be excited for tomorrow tomorrow after I’ve experienced today.  The past?  I have one.

 

Life…

has a bigger audience than you know.

Even now the crowds are gathering to watch what
you will do with what God gave you.

There is no greater worth..  

Why are you still sitting there?

 

Running forward hard and fast, out of my comfort zone; I run because you call. I run because You won’t let my feet stop. I hesitate as the challenges are revealed one by one. Every part of this new journey has tugged a bit harder on who I think I am able to be. Each task at hand is one that I have a hard time picturing myself in. Each time I plant my stubborn feet, you gently remind me that your sovereignty is the utmost.

 

You remind me that You ask for me to speak aloud more, you challenge me more. You remind me that You know me more than I know myself.

You have selected every one of us, every past experience, every current one…to rally together in this journey.

 

You challenge and push us uniquely, You comfort and guide us uniquely, and You encourage us boldly uniquely.

 

All because You have more to show, we are called to more, and we have more to share with those who don’t know the truth.

 

My beautiful God, continue to walk with us, as you have already been doing. Tug and pull and sometimes drag on us when our feet are planted.

Remind us in each moment that your will and way is sovereign, no matter what challenges we face.

Encourage each one of us to be bold when all we are feeling is fear. Encourage each one of us to smile in the moments that it may be easier to frown.

 

May we leave footprints of Hope in the hearts that you have planned to be there. We step out in faith to Your will and plan, to Your voice.

 

We know the truth.

 

We have a Creator who loves us more than is fathomable.

Enough

John 15:17 is my new most favorite verse.  The prodigal son comes to himself and realizes that his father’s servants have more than enough bread.  Enough has a ton of amazing meanings throughout the Bible – fun, great relationships, abundance, don’t even want any more you’re so full, content, and a bunch of other stuff like wealthy, lots of stuff, and more.  So, is Jesus really enough? I guess so, Jesus teaches He is in the prodigal parable and the son isn’t just given servanthood which would have been enough, he got sonship back, which is way enough.  I’m single and an empty nester.  As a matter of fact I have likely just finished the last summer of having her live here. That hit me just yesterday. Sometimes it feels like it’s not enough.  It felt that way earlier today, then I figured out that the Bible definitely says that our Father is enough, has enough.  It was amazing to read all of the definitions and see that they covered all areas of life.  So I’m back to having rest and joy in my Daddy’s arms and I’m excited about what’s next because it has to be good.  I just have to “come to my senses”.